I'm watching this film called 'the encounter' and I'm wondering why I've never seen it before. I don't know how old the film is but I watched it last night and plan to watch the part 2 today. The film is revealing much. At first I was skeptical because I wondered why Jesus was in the flesh when he was to be sitted in all his glory and honor at the right hand of God but I kinda understood it latter on. At that time I was having monthly cramps and all I wanted was for help. Listening to all those people list their problems and their complaints against God. I began to understand the reality of heaven. It was so real to me. People were complaining about how God took a man of God or how God took their children who were ready to serve him with their hearts. They fail to recognize that heaven is real. That wherever their loved ones are is far better than this falling earth. It doesn't make the pain go away or make everything easier. Trust me I know. I lost my best friend. But in their deaths we find our strength in God's arms and in time find his peace and plan for us. Watching this made me understand that God's plans and mine are not the same. I cannot boast to understand him because while he sees the future, I can only see the present and make my plans based on what I can see now. He, he has the ultimate plan, the plan that he reveals to us bits by bits , so that we would not be overwhelmed. Another thing I wondered after watching this film is if I can have a relationship with God so much so that Jesus would come down personally just to fufill a promise he made to me. That is the type of relationship I want to have with the holy spirit. Oh God help me. Men complain about how God sees bad thing happening and does not interfere we fail to remember that it is us with the dominion of the earth so therefore God cannot intervene when man does not ask him to. Quite often we blame God for all our problems and pain when all he ask us to do is ask him to take over. But man without the nature of God is still very selfish. Wanting God to only take control of our problems but leave our lives alone. We may not realize but God wants us to ask him more than we want to receive from him. This film has been an eye-opener for me. Thank you Jesus.

I'm damn so excited because well I really thought I was just going to graduate and get some stupid desk job in on oil factory and when oil finishes I'd have saved enough to publish one novel and well croak and die and then they started talking about how God has all this big plans for me and how I'm not supposed to live like any normal person. For two seconds of my life I actually took serious the idea of marrying some rich guy and writing children stories till I die but then again that was not an option considering I really don't know how to write children stories. Let's just say that's I've never really known what I would do after I leave school. I'm pretty lazy when it comes to thinking about these things but at some point in my life I panicked. Most people I knew were so sure and some of them had already started moving in that path but then again I'm too lazy to think about such things. I learnt tennis and badminton and once wondered if I should take it serious and be like the Serena Williams of our generation but i figured in between my school work, choir practice and my two novels which I've started writing there really was no time to focus so well on my tennis career so i dropped it and don't think i haven't considered doing full time writing but I've seen how that worked out for people so i kinda put it out of my mind and besides I'm too lazy. Ive given up on writing my novel twice already . Its been almost two years since i wrote the first chapter but in my defense I've had to change the story line more than once. Once i got back home ,my mum started complaining of how my grades in chemistry were dropping and how it was because of all the films I used to watch. She just could not understand. So one day I'm reading this novel and it clicks. This is what I want to do with my future. I'm too lazy to write a novel but I'd finish the one I'm writing. After that I want to write only reviews for books and movies and articles and maybe a couple of short stories. I've kinda thought of trying the whole P4CM stuff but I really just enjoy the writing. Reciting is too much stress but I'm learning. Who knows I might just do it. I've always had a couple of silly dreams like going to a ball in London by the time I'm 23 and skydiving and ocean diving before I die ( got that from a silly Indian film. Still I want to do it). Now that I think of it maybe along the way I could be a critic for articles and stuff but then again I'm just writing this I need to ask God first what he wants and if this is not what he wants then fine because that means he has bigger plans for me.

my thoughts on the 19th of march

HEB:1 & 2 I started reading HEBREWS and I slept of for more than thirty minutes. When I woke up I realised that I did not learn anything. Sure I remember reading through 1 and starting 2 but nothing struck me so I read it again when I woke up. Chapter 1 started by glorifying the son of GOD, and his placement above angels. And then it describes everyone who is saved as being above angels. AWESOME!!!!!! HEB 1: 14 Are they not all ministering angels sent out to serve those who are going to inherit salvation? Take note, going to means in the future. That means GOD has already set aside angels before we become saved. That is how much he thinks of us. How much he yearns for us to call him father. He has already made all things ready for us. Also chapter two of HEBREWS assures us of our dominion over all things. That means we do not have to fast to get what we want. If we fast it should be for our spiritual growth and not because we want something . Everything is subject to us if we just know how to access it. Listen to this: HEB 2: 8 … and subjected everything under his feet. For in subjecting everything to him, he left nothing not subject to him…

my thoughts on the 18th of march

i decided to add my thoughts for each day. ROMANS 3,4 If a man is judged by his work , then he can boast but there would be nothing to boast about because he would be judged according to the law. by the law everyman is unrighteous and unfit for the kingdom of heaven. But we are judged by our faith . In that wise grace is a gift that is undeserved and we have nothing to boast about except our weakness, that he gives strength for. Faith is what would make you wait for GOD without considering time or age because GOD is always on time. i decided not to cheat even when I could not finish reading because I believe so strongly that GOD would never give me what is too hard to handle and he can never shame himself by letting me fail and it always works. He is too faithful to fail. That is just a fraction of the charm that intoxicates me about him. I LOVE JESUS

I WILL WAIT

can't remember the last time i was caught blogging but i have to post this here is my I WILL WAIT poem I will wait till the sun falls down Till the moon goes away in a frown I will wait till my name is no longer a noun Till my dress is no longer a gown Till I no longer live in a town But I'm six feet under the ground I will wait I will wait for at least a whisper Till I escape the music at the bar When I don’t have to read a star Till I feel your voice not far And my thoughts it does mar Till I hear your call and say sir And I'm sure it's you father I will wait I will wait till it's clear you never forsake Clear as the lake For indeed I you did make And yes it was a piece of cake But your breath for me you did take And have loved me for my own sake So here I am wide awake Till my thoughts you overtake And I will wait for eternity, make no mistake This is me saying I love you (a retake)

Alert!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’ve uploaded chapter two of my book on Wattpad. To read my book, visit Wattpad.com and search for lazzylog or go to my Google+ page and check out the link or check. I was listening to Joyce Meyer’s story today and I was like WOW. That must have been tough. I can’t say I know how she feels. But im happy she’s recovered. Some people go through life never knowing peace because of something that happened in their past and keeps hunting them. But here is the story of a woman who despite all forgave her father who she said and I quote “raped me more than 200 times before I turned 18.” If you haven’t heard her story and you feel a certain form of shadow from your past following you. Then check on YouTube for it and listen intently as she tells you she did it. It’s a touching and captivating life story. It’s something you have to listen to. Next week I will upload a couple of pictures I saved from my google+ page. I think them hilarious and stupid. I wonder what you would think????????????

from my book 'HUNTER'

Everyday till now I have the same dreams that that fill my night and prod my mind in the day and I can’t seem to understand what it means and yet I feel so at ease and so comfortable with it. I know it’s from my past, my life before but I don’t want to remember it. This is my home and anything that was behind is past and not to be thought about at least that is what I’m told. I want to believe that but this nightmares keep gnawing at me telling me of her Importance and I want to treasure her because she is my only link to my past which I have no knowledge of. This has been my only home but this strange place that fills my mind seems so familiar and so real. Somehow it is of importance in ways I may never know. Yet as a dream this strange place calls to me to avenge for it. What I am to avenge I have no knowledge of. But I must keep this to myself until I have a further understanding of what this is. Maybe it is my destiny or maybe not. But I must rest, sleep again and dream of this place maybe in time I will uncover all of its secrets. And then I will know of my history and past life and I will avenge for this strange place that calls for my help. It’s raining like it always does at the beginning of my dream but this time I can hear the sound of the rain on the rooftop, smell and taste the fear and anxiety of everything. It’s like I’m here, only nobody can tell of my presence. I am safe and dry but I am younger probably eleven or twelve and I see this man telling me to run and hide from some shadow that pursue us both and next I’m in a small space and I hear screams and gunshots and I’m crying silently and praying. Then I’m suddenly back at the house but this time my weeping is louder and there is blood the familiar scent of fresh blood that has guided my intuition but the blood is not mine. I am weeping at a man’s feet and I realize that it is that it is the man that told me to run and it always ends there before I wake up. His connection to me is unknown only this time my dream is longer. This time he looks at me and smiles and hands me a locket and I hear him whisper “I love you son, now run. I want you to look for James, he will protect you”. I hear myself cry and it seems all too real and now I awake into familiar surroundings and I see my bunker and my weapons. I remember my dream and realize that I’m in tears. I must find my history, discover why I was running and who killed my father and do to them what I do best. Kill them.

Wow, can’t remember the last time I was caught blogging, anyways I’ve been offline for a while but in that time I have gone closer to the Holyspirit we now have a relationship and it’s been awesome. In a few weeks I’ll write a review on this awesome Kenneth. E. Hagin book that really helped me. That’s once im through with it. My partner have had some seriously strained contact for a while and I miss her. Anywaiz I Joined Wattpad like a few weeks ago and just decided to fully participate in it. So im first of all officially announcing that I am in chapter 3 of my first serious book and im posting it on Wattpad. I would try as much as possible to update weekly. I would post an excerpt from it in my next entry which I hope would be a few days away.

Came up with a poem

I came up with so many different poems, would be sharing them daily. Here's a Quatrain poem
Twas a beautiful morning sun
piercing through my soul
oh what a beauty, I proclaimed!
that made my heart whole.