I'm watching this film called 'the encounter' and I'm wondering why I've never seen it before. I don't know how old the film is but I watched it last night and plan to watch the part 2 today. The film is revealing much. At first I was skeptical because I wondered why Jesus was in the flesh when he was to be sitted in all his glory and honor at the right hand of God but I kinda understood it latter on. At that time I was having monthly cramps and all I wanted was for help. Listening to all those people list their problems and their complaints against God. I began to understand the reality of heaven. It was so real to me. People were complaining about how God took a man of God or how God took their children who were ready to serve him with their hearts. They fail to recognize that heaven is real. That wherever their loved ones are is far better than this falling earth. It doesn't make the pain go away or make everything easier. Trust me I know. I lost my best friend. But in their deaths we find our strength in God's arms and in time find his peace and plan for us. Watching this made me understand that God's plans and mine are not the same. I cannot boast to understand him because while he sees the future, I can only see the present and make my plans based on what I can see now. He, he has the ultimate plan, the plan that he reveals to us bits by bits , so that we would not be overwhelmed. Another thing I wondered after watching this film is if I can have a relationship with God so much so that Jesus would come down personally just to fufill a promise he made to me. That is the type of relationship I want to have with the holy spirit. Oh God help me. Men complain about how God sees bad thing happening and does not interfere we fail to remember that it is us with the dominion of the earth so therefore God cannot intervene when man does not ask him to. Quite often we blame God for all our problems and pain when all he ask us to do is ask him to take over. But man without the nature of God is still very selfish. Wanting God to only take control of our problems but leave our lives alone. We may not realize but God wants us to ask him more than we want to receive from him. This film has been an eye-opener for me. Thank you Jesus.

I'm damn so excited because well I really thought I was just going to graduate and get some stupid desk job in on oil factory and when oil finishes I'd have saved enough to publish one novel and well croak and die and then they started talking about how God has all this big plans for me and how I'm not supposed to live like any normal person. For two seconds of my life I actually took serious the idea of marrying some rich guy and writing children stories till I die but then again that was not an option considering I really don't know how to write children stories. Let's just say that's I've never really known what I would do after I leave school. I'm pretty lazy when it comes to thinking about these things but at some point in my life I panicked. Most people I knew were so sure and some of them had already started moving in that path but then again I'm too lazy to think about such things. I learnt tennis and badminton and once wondered if I should take it serious and be like the Serena Williams of our generation but i figured in between my school work, choir practice and my two novels which I've started writing there really was no time to focus so well on my tennis career so i dropped it and don't think i haven't considered doing full time writing but I've seen how that worked out for people so i kinda put it out of my mind and besides I'm too lazy. Ive given up on writing my novel twice already . Its been almost two years since i wrote the first chapter but in my defense I've had to change the story line more than once. Once i got back home ,my mum started complaining of how my grades in chemistry were dropping and how it was because of all the films I used to watch. She just could not understand. So one day I'm reading this novel and it clicks. This is what I want to do with my future. I'm too lazy to write a novel but I'd finish the one I'm writing. After that I want to write only reviews for books and movies and articles and maybe a couple of short stories. I've kinda thought of trying the whole P4CM stuff but I really just enjoy the writing. Reciting is too much stress but I'm learning. Who knows I might just do it. I've always had a couple of silly dreams like going to a ball in London by the time I'm 23 and skydiving and ocean diving before I die ( got that from a silly Indian film. Still I want to do it). Now that I think of it maybe along the way I could be a critic for articles and stuff but then again I'm just writing this I need to ask God first what he wants and if this is not what he wants then fine because that means he has bigger plans for me.